Thursday, June 17, 2010

Do you have what it takes?

Groucho Marx once said, “I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.”

Many times people have told me they weren’t Drunk Phils Fans because they weren’t sure they belonged. Horseshit! For the most part, we’ll accept anyone… unless of course you are or were a Mets fan. In which case, you have a cursed soul. There is no hope for you and you will burn in the lowest fiery depths of hell. But back to my point If you don’t take my word for it; I have compiled a sort of checklist to determine if you qualify.

Standard Members:

You like the Phillies.
You like some sort of booze.
You know who Whitey is.
You enjoy the company of others who like the Phillies and booze.
You’ve heard the song “High Hopes”
You have gotten Phillies tickets in the past.

Gold Members:

You love the Phillies.
You love the sauce.
You know who Domonic Brown is.
You tailgate with people who share the same interests as you.
You know the words to “High Hopes”
You have some sort of season ticket plan.

Platinum Member:

You can’t imagine a world without the Phillies.
Your only problem with booze is that you drink is never full enough.
Last week, you debated that Tyler Green was better than Tommy Greene.
The last time you tailgated with Lindsey Lohan, she told you, “For the last time, stop snatching my beer. I’m not done and cooler is only 2 extra feet away.”
You can gargle High hopes while pounding a beer.
You have gotten tickets while at the Phillies game…Drunk and Disorderly tickets.

So feel free to join, invite your friends of let us know what you think.

See ya down at the game.

Jay Wrizight

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